REVIEW: The Animorphs television show. Alternately: My Tiny, Squishy Heart of Feelings.

I'm not even going to give my usual disclaimer here, because if you're expecting a spoiler alert on a fifteen year-old show that hardly anyone watched in the first place, well...you have clearly been sheltered from society to the extent that the FBI is watching you right now.  It's okay.  They're, um, friendly.

When I get asked who or what formed me as a writer, I have four major answers: Joss Whedon, Stephen King, the team of genius/hack lunatics behind Xena, and one Katherine Alice Applegate.  All four of these influences came together when I was about thirteen years old, just as I was starting to nudge around and feel out who I wanted to be as a person and also just as I was starting to realize that I genuinely enjoyed telling stories.  Prior to that, my way with words was hollow.  It got me pats on the head from teachers*, but I really didn't bother with characters after I was done with them.  Animorphs was a big part of that shift.  K.A. Applegate was brilliant in making imaginative aliens, building a diverse cast in the weird gap between progressivism's first leaps and its' last ten years or so of resurgence**, and writing the horrors of war on a level that a thirteen year-old could understand.  That last part lingers to this day.

For twenty-six episodes across 1998 and 1999, Animorphs came to realization as a television show on the then-empiric Nicklelodeon Network.  Being a poor kid, I was only able to witness part of it in snatches and grabs as it aired even though I really, really wanted to***.  I've watched it all now, and I'm here to report.  Thus, Animorphs.

It's basically an endearingly bad series, though the first episodes are intensely bad in an inexcusable way.  At least get your episodes right, guys, Tobias can't be tragically a hawk and then just learning how to morph as a human three episodes later.  But do I think that a lot of what made the television series fail was due to the time and not the talent.  In 1998, on Nickelodeon, you did not have the budget or the technology to really bring to life what K.A. Applegate was trying to do.  She thought about doing the rubber-face thing with aliens because she sensed she might have an idea that would be hard to bring to the screen, was encouraged to be more creative, and then went *balls-out crazy* in a supremely fantastic way.  As a result, there was a lot that simply could not translate well to a television medium without CGI.  Plus, there were the animals.  Big, dangerous predators who can be filmed fighting realistically should...probably not be around humans.  In addition, the half-hour format did the show no favors when they were trying to follow plot lines that spanned an entire book.

Towards the end of the first season, though, a shift started to happen.  The writers start to work within the limitations of their budget and medium rather than against them and came up with some fairly clever solutions.  I bristled initially that destroying the Kandrona wasn't accorded to Rachel, because that was her defining moment in the series for me, but the writers managed work-arounds to bring in major plot points while also realizing that they were in new territory.  They got K. A. Applegate's ultimate philosophy and used it towards their own ends.  And the problem was never with the cast.  Shawn Ashmore is the only person to really have a mainstream career, and that sucks.  Christopher Ralph and Brooke Nevin still take the occasional small role, but most of the rest of the cast has retired.  A shame, as they were a fairly talented bunch for writing that just wasn't there for the longest time.

Man, that was a trip down nostalgia lane.  Apparently I have a lot of feels to share when it comes to my formative influences.

*I went to a state fiction competition at nine.  How no one realized that I was shamelessly glueing The Black Stallion to Standard Little Girl Horse Fantasy, I will never know.  Actually, now that I remember, part of the plot involved building a barn using actual glue.

**I remember her remarking with faint surprise that she hadn't received one single piece of hate mail about Jake and Cassie being in an interracial relationship.  That surprise is still saddening.

***My monthly allowance went to the Animorphs book that I devoured in an hour.  Also, I like footnotes.  It's a thing.

REVIEW: Transformers: Age of Extinction

Usual caveats: 'ware spoilers.

Okay.  This is a bad movie.  It falls into the classic superhero movie fail of trying to stir in too many villains with too many agendas, it has all the racism and misogyny of a Transformers movie*, it's in general a steaming pile of stupid.  HOWEVER.  It is a visually entertaining movie.  It does have Stanley Tucci, whose career choices continue to baffle me in the best way possible.  (Thank you for Burlesque, sir.  Thank you.)  And it has robot dinosaurs.

As it turns out, I will put up with a lot for robot dinosaurs.

*At least Mikaela did stuff; Tessa just screams for people to help her without making even a token effort to save herself.  Darci and Su were pretty awesome, though, and I wished the movie contained more of them.

REVIEW: Captain America: The Winter Soldier

My usual caveats: 'ware spoilers, but especially for this post.  There are some big ones.

Okay.  I have to say it: it was better than Avengers.  Now, before you rise up as one to murder me, hear me out: Avengers was an excellent ensemble film.  If there is one thing Joss Whedon is good at, it's juggling a large cast while still giving everyone their moment.  Unless you make a seven-hour movie, however, there is no way to get into the same character detail that you can achieve while focusing on one protagonist.  Cap 2 is a pure and total love song to Steve Rogers, and it nails it.  I'm kind of leaning towards dividing the world into two types of people: those who love Steve and those who don't.  It's not good for you if you're one of the ones who don't.  This Steve is very different from the Steve of the Avengers and, IMO, better for it.  Not a slam against Joss, as the deleted scenes of the Avengers make it clear that it was presenting a Steve still reeling and depressed, while Cap 2 is Steve starting to recover and become himself again.  And that Steve is a snarky bastard.  I have to laugh every time Steve is reduced to the perfect, obedient soldier, because hell no.  Steve Rogers is a horrible soldier.  I don't think he's followed a single order across all three of his film appearances.  Steve Rogers does what Steve Rogers thinks is right, and he gets away with it because he's such a genuinely good man while he sasses you the entire way.  The Winter Soldier is a movie about identity and trust, about the dangers of becoming so embedded in your own worldview that you don't realize when the rot has infiltrated.  (And a complete damnation of NSA tactics and the modern trend of constant observation, which was fantastic.)  No other Marvel hero than Steve could have pulled that off.  He's the only one who could ask people to choose between freedom and fear and not have it play as unbelievably corny.  Old-fashioned values, indeed.  I cannot wait for the shake-up that this movie is going to deliver when it comes to Avengers 2.

And now that I've made a completely ridiculous fangirl of myself over Steve Rogers (which is admittedly not new), can we talk about Natasha?  And I can I bitch and moan yet again that we're getting Ant Man and a goddamned talking raccoon before we get a Black Widow movie?  Natasha isn't quite into the love-her-or-you're-wrong territory with me that Steve is, but only because the Red Room hasn't quite become canon as far as the MCU is concerned.  I don't think it's been entirely ruled out yet, because Natasha is freaking my age and yet somehow worked for the KGB (do you have gaps that you can't explain, Nat?) and Scarlett took on a lot of in-character cagey facial expressions.  Until that's canon, I get that you might not have my sad little redemptionista tendencies and can't forget that she's a scary person used to doing Very Bad Things.  Which is a little bit why I love her, but okay.  We just need our freaking Black Widow movie all ready (if you think I'm ever letting that go, you are adorable) to bring in the Red Room backstory.  Then she will join my unapologetic Steve Rogers territory.  And when we get the Black Widow movie, we also get...

...another way for Sebastian Stan to fulfill his nine-movie contract with Marvel by continuing to break my freaking heart.  I've had a soft spot for Bucky Barnes ever since my Marvel conversion of a few years back; if you asked me to choose between him, Steve, and Natasha, my response would probably be to fall to the floor and cry until I died of dehydration and it didn't matter any longer.  This movie nailed him.  Sebastian Stan was actually the first casting choice that didn't cause me to tilt my head a little where Marvel is concerned--I really need to stop doing that--since RDJ as Tony Stark.  He was amazing.  Maybe ten lines in the whole movie, but watch his eyes.  And if you don't have a moment at "But I knew him" then maybe you're in the don't-like-Steve-Rogers box with me.

When the Black Widow movie happens (YouTube a good RickRoll, and you're welcome for the ear worm), I hope it has a healthy helping of Fury and Natasha interacting with each other, as their warmth towards each other was tremendously enjoyable.  You sort of got the sense that, behind the scenes since Natasha's conversion to SHEILD, they developed an almost paternal relationship in the most unlikely way possible.  I hope the inevitable BW movie (TALKING RACCOON, MARVEL) also features Sam Wilson, as I was enthusiastically won over to Falcon as his MCU incarnation after really just not liking him very much in the comics.  I loved that he, like Steve, was just a good man with no caveats to that.  Marvel has proven themselves to be masters of working the "good is not boring/dumb" philosophy.  Not to mention how much I loved that the All American Hero team featured two women (Maria Hill is back, competence kink in full force as always) and two black guys.  Marvel superhero movies aren't perfect on representation, but they honestly try, and they furthermore try without expecting head-pats for it.  I really do appreciate that.

Aaaand I've exposed all of you to enough of my fangirl lunacy for one day.  I'm much more about character than I am about clever plot twists, but the movie works a sense of a good 1970s spy thriller while maintaining the Marvel tone.  Watch it.  Watch it more than once.  I'm going to give you all a little bit of a breather from the geek-gasm I just dumped all over you, but only because I want to think about the MCU vs. comics interpretations of Falcon some more and then come back to 'gasm again about how perfect the interactions between Sam and Steve as alternate timeline mirror selves were.

The Veronica Mars Movie: Feelin' the LoVe

A nasty chest cold put me out of commission for most of last week, delaying my watching of the Veronica Mars movie.  (And trust me, the sulking was epic.)  As per usual, 'ware spoilers.

With only the smallest handful of reservations, I love this movie unabashedly.  It's not a blockbuster, it's not an art movie.  It's a love letter.  That's the best language to describe this film: an absolute thank you to the fans who wanted Veronica back and were willing to volunteer some serious cash to pay for her return to the screen.  We reunite with Veronica nine years after the series finale of the show, just as she's graduating from law school, interviewing with prestigious law firms, and congratulating herself on transitioning from the revenge-fueled life she led in Neptune to a stable, normal existence.

The slight problem, as Veronica admits to herself, is that stable and normal bores the shit out of her.  She returns to Neptune for the famed "one last job" (like that ever works out well) when former boyfriend Logan Echolls is accused of murdering his girlfriend, but one gets the sense that she would have found her way back even without his phone call.  Veronica refers to herself as an addict when it comes to her investigative urges several times throughout the movie.  Given that Logan states he ended his relationship with the (not yet then) dead ex-girlfriend because her substance abuse issues made him feel more like a sponsor than a mate, this gave me pause.  Veronica has always had deep issues with rage, played wonderfully by Kristen Bell and only enhanced by the fact that she looks like Tinker Belle cast into human form.  It's true to say that she's a noir hero, deeply flawed and with some not-so-savoury dogs in the fight that drive her to her acts of heroism.  I'm not sure how I feel about her last lines basically admitting that she's an incurable addict and taking up the mantel of Mars Investigations as a way of binging on her urges.  Very interested in the whispers of a possible sequel.  (MEANING GO WATCH THIS MOVIE, GUYS.  GO WATCH IT, GO WATCH IT, GO WATCH IT.  I MEAN IT.)

As much as Veronica likes to isolate herself when she's in a driven mood, she's nothing without the rest of her supporting cast.  Thomas was able to get nearly everyone back, from Mac to Wallace to Dick, and they are all wonderfully written and acted in their new, adult personas.  The character who surprised me the most, however, was Logan.  If you had told me a decade ago that Logan Freaking Echolls would, not only join the Navy, but actually rise high enough to make it a career I would have laughed in your face and then quietly advise that you check into a nice, quiet place to rest for a while.  But it works.  Between Thomas's writing and directing and Dohring's acting, Logan emerges as an actual adult who still has anger issues (it's not a Veronica Mars movie unless Logan gets into at least one fistfight) but is mature enough to acknowledge them and not let them rule his life.  And it seems...effortless.  Logan Echolls, actual adult.  Whoa.

Of course, this would not be a Veronica Mars movie without that dash of smolder between Logan and Veronica.  The chemistry between Bell and Dohring has not died in the slightest after nearly a decade apart, and this time?  The "epic" quote is earned.

The plot is smart, the acting is every bit as good as the series, and Thomas's voice rivals Whedon's in its immediate recognizability.  I'm telling you, people, if this movie doesn't get a sequel and the cliffhanger with Weevil is left unresolved, I will cry tears of blood.

REVIEW: The Darkest Gate by SM Reine

Description: When Elise Kavanagh retired from demon hunting, she swore it would be permanent. But an attack from a powerful necromancer forced her back into the business, and now she's trying to balance her normal boyfriend and normal job with everything supernatural.

Mr. Black is a demon hunter gone rogue. He's enslaving angels and stealing ethereal artifacts in pursuit of forbidden immortality. An old grudge drives him to make his final stand in Elise's territory. Destroying her life and killing her friends isn't the goal, but it's a definite perk.

A demonic overlord offers to join against Mr. Black and protect Elise's loved ones. All she needs to do is ally with the demons she's sworn to kill, at the cost of her morals--and maybe her immortal soul. But once she crosses that line, there's no turning back.

Nothing is sacred when Heaven and Hell collide on Earth...

My Thoughts: One of the things I enjoy most about Reine's Elise is how likably unlikable she is.  Someone as traumatized as Elise isn't going to flop and angst, because they're not going to understand that they're traumatized.  The Darkest Gate begins where Death's Hand left off in exploring more fully this strange, dangerous woman.  The flashbacks are fantastic both in bringing the plot into focus without need of a full-fledged prequel and in showing that Elise is, if anything, in pretty good shape compared to her teenaged self.  Elise and her aspis, James, are at an inevitable crossroads: he wants a normal life.  She knows she can never have one, and James is the only person she truly allows herself to trust.  She's struggling to play nice in her own not-quite-nice way; as sweet as Anthony is, it's clear that it's not going to work.  Featuring at least one Joss Whedon screamer moment.

REVIEW: Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest

All right, I'm going to be frank: you might have noticed that this review is a little bit of a departure for me.  Not in the sense that it's done over a terrible, terrible horror film.  (I hold those to my bosom and perhaps coo over them a little bit.  The neighbors ask me to stop in increasingly worried tones.  We have a fun relationship.)  Rather, in the sense that it's a review of a horror film made in 1995 with the proceeds of my couch cushions delivered from the future.  The only two cast members who are remotely famous today are Nicholas Brendan, who is a basketball-playing extra, and Charlize Theron, who dies of being stabbed through the vagina.  I'm relatively certain that they both have attorneys drawing up C&Ds for me purely for mentioning their names in connection to this glorious hot mess.

Children of the Corn III first came to my attention due to the thespian talents of Mari Morrow and Duke Stroud, they who inspired the very astute question: "I write about superheroes.  Why the hell do people keep finding a straight-to-VHS mess when they search for my name?"

REVIEW: Thor 2

A few days post-premier, but I was busy chewing things over.  And generally twirling in a circle and cooing, because did I ever love this movie.  Actually cutting for spoilers for once!  (I know!)

REVIEW: Blind Sight by Emersinda Alvarez

Firstly, profuse apologies to Ms. Alvarez for the lateness of this review; I was hit with one crisis after another this weekend and didn't manage to be productive at all.  That being said, check this book out.  Its world is imaginative and descriptive, and it was nice to read a book that wasn't about an American teenager having a coming of age crisis.  I also greatly enjoyed the relationship between Leocardo and Odette; the care between them is very carefully and lovingly drawn.  This series fits together like a puzzle piece, each volume revealing slightly more of an interconnected story.  I'm definitely checking out the next book.

And now, a few words from the author:

Ermisenda Alvarez on Dreams, Imagination, and Perspectives

I had a dream; I wanted to write novels. I have been writing since I joined a Harry Potter guild on Neopets at twelve years old. You could write short pieces to receive points. Writing didn't stop there.

I had a vivid imagination; I wanted to know more. Often, after finishing a book I pondered about how the story could have been retold from a different perspective, maybe a different character. What if we were able to read the story of Snape over the course of seven novels rather than Harry Potter?

I had chance on my side; I met Eliabeth and we were two young women crazy about writing. So, what did we do? We wrote. How did we write? The nature of our friendship began on a role-playing site whereby we wrote from different characters to create scenes and stories.

We had a dream, vivid imagination and each other. What more did we need? Not much else as we embarked on an amazing journey and wrote Blind Sight despite living half the globe away.

Writing a novel was a dream I have had for a long time but I was so excited to write a two-sided novel that followed two different perspectives. It was an ambitious choice for us to make but one of the best. We have not only challenged ourselves but have provided readers with a new way of reading. For those who only wish to read one side, that is okay, but for those of us who are interested in the power of different perspectives and multiple stories we have another side to offer.

The power of multiple stories cannot be emphasized enough in our daily lives. How many times have we heard one story about an acquaintance but once we have met them, we receive a second story, in which might completely contradict the first. Is either one wrong? Maybe not. But your understanding of the person, or novel in the case, is enriched.

Growing up in a Spanish family and living in Australia has taught me a lot about language in my, so far, short life. My very first language was Spanish, but when school started English became my "mother" tongue. A simple saying can dramatically change through translation, those of you who know more than one language will understand this perfectly. I have had to translate pieces of Spanish into English for friends and even though the words I have translated make sense in English, only I can grasp the full meaning and implications of the phrase.

Staying open minded, listening to varied opinions and soaking up what we can from the zillions of stories out there in the world is part of life. Eliabeth and I have channeled the essence of that concept into our first two-sided novel. We live on an earth with billions of people. We all think differently, we see the world differently and together, we are the characters of humanity. I am inspired by dreams, imagination and people.

The story of Leocardo, Aniela, and Odette in Blind Sight can be enjoyed through one color, one perspective but, why limit yourself? There is not only another color to live through but together, a new range of shades to enjoy.

Ermisenda Alvarez



This post is part of the Blind Sight Blog Tour. Blind Sight is an urban fantasy novel written in two volumes, each telling the story through a different character's perspective.

REVIEW: Man of Steel

Late to the party--I actually went to a midnight showing last Thursday--but, you know, mental breakdown took precedence.  I'm actually going to go against my usual spoiler policy and put this under a cut for once; that's your one warning if you're worried about Cheerios-pissing.

Review: Iron Man 3

All right, I admittedly have some complicated feels about this movie which I've been tussling with over the past day and a half or so.  Most of my wiggling is centered around the last ten minutes or so, though, so let's just get down with what works.  (As always, I have no respect for spoilers, so 'ware.)

1) The Mandarin was.  Freaking.  Awesome.  My eyebrows went up into my hairline when I first heard that he was going to be the major villain of the third movie, 'cause, whoo-boy, there is a lot of racism in them thar hills.  Turning an unintentional racist caricature into an intentional racist caricature deliberately and cynically used by a white villain in order to provoke fear is brilliant.  Excellent trolling, Marvel.

2) Literally every single thing about Pepper Potts.  I was a little worried that she was going to wind up fridged, but introducing Extremis would have actually made it palatable to me if they had decided to go that route.  (No body, no death, baybees.  It's the comic-book way.)  But Pepper getting to be an honest-to-God superhero in her own right was, like the treatment of the Mandarin, completely brilliant.  I'm going to pretend that Tony's making-everything-better in the last ten minutes mostly meant him speed-reading enough books on the human genome to keep her from going 'splodey while still letting her remain an awesome fire goddess.  Did I mention that I liked Pepper in this movie?  I really, really liked Pepper in this movie.

3) Breaking the hero down to his most basic components and then building him back up.  This is actually a textbook heroine's journey, which I love.  Let's face it, if you slot the Avengers into a Five Man Band format, Tony's The Chick, not Natasha.

The only two things I didn't like:

1) I'm still torn about removing the arc reactor.  I know, it fits the movie's theme of Tony shedding his crutches and realizing that he's a hero because he's a hero, not his traumas, but...the arc reactor.

2)  They explained the rabbit.  I was perversely hoping they wouldn't.  :)

LET BLOCKBUSTER SEASON BEGIN!

REVIEW: Collapse by Richard Stephenson

Description: America is falling, ready to join the Roman Empire as a distant memory in the annals of history. The year is 2027. Tired and desperate, the American people are deep in the middle of The Second Great Depression. The Florida coastline is in ruins from the most powerful hurricane on record; a second just like it is bearing down on the state of Texas. For the first time in history, the Middle East has united as one and amassed the most formidable army the world has seen since the Third Reich. A hidden army of terrorists is on American soil. This is the story of three men: Howard Beck, the world’s richest man, also diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. Richard Dupree, ex-Navy SEAL turned escaped convict. Maxwell Harris, a crippled, burned out Chief of Police of a small Texas town. At first they must fight for their own survival against impossible odds. Finally, the three men must band together to save their beloved country from collapse.

My Thoughts: I like dystopian fiction because there's a slightly sociopathic aspect of my personality that likes smashing the world to bits.  Not the most honorable part of myself, to be sure, but definitely the most fun, kind of like that kid who builds Lego towers over and over again just to knock them down.  Collapse is an excellent novel in that regard.  I admittedly lawled a little bit over the idea of Iran being able to conquer anyone, but in the good-hearted way you laugh at the sillier aspects of action movies while still maintaining suspension of disbelief.  Stephenson keeps the plot moving along at a deft pace and is adept at skipping between a multitude of characters while keeping their voices distinct.  (I will note that it's a good thing that the book is ensemble, though, because my dislike of the Navy SEAL character was approaching hateboner territory by the end.)  It's a fun little popcorn read, and I'll definitely look at the second book when it comes out this summer.

REVIEW: Alexander Death by JL Bryan

Description: While Seth searches for Jenny, Dr. Heather Reynard of the CDC unravels Seth and Jenny's secrets.

Alexander opens Jenny's mind to her deep past, and to the full horrific extent of her powers.

Torn between her feelings for Alexander and Seth, and between her past lives and her present, Jenny must prepare to face her enemies while fighting against the powerful, ancient darkness within, which threatens to grow until it consumes her...

My Thoughts:  All right, I'm probably one of the biggest champions this book series has and will gleefully fangasm about it to anyone who stands still long enough to let me.  JL Bryan has still created one of the most interesting and complicated heroines I've read over the past few years, and hands-down the best female villain.  Ashleigh of the first book will never not be deliciously evil and clever.  

That being said, I do have to finally admit that the series is starting to suffer as it rounds into its third installment, so much so that I'm not sure yet if I want to read the fourth.  (I would feel this way even if the wear and tear hadn't become so apparent, as Alexander Death comes to such a natural stopping place that to open the series up to further books seems a little forced.)  Jenny has run off with Alexander in order to save her own life after Ashleigh's latest attack, Seth is trying to find Jenny again while being harassed by the Department of Homeland Security, Ashleigh is sadly marginalized as a villain, and Tommy...well, Tommy actually really disappointed me.  The potential for truly epic villainy or even a stance as a solid antihero expressed in the second book of the series just sort of *poofs* off into nowhere, but he still gets his happy ending without actually doing anything to earn it.  Throw in a fairly silly PSA about drug use and a what-the-hell black ops rescue, and I did a fair amount of giggling through my fingers at points of this book.  

This isn't to say that Alexander Death doesn't still have a great deal to recommend it, because it does.  Though she doesn't get as much to do as in the first and second book, Ashleigh is still absolutely electric.  (She's Randall Flagg with a better leave-in conditioner, people.  I'm telling you, even if I didn't like Jenny so much, Ashleigh alone is worth the price of admission.)  The descriptions of the kids' past lives are rich and varied, Seth is back to being the good-hearted goober we saw in the first book, and the final showdown ties together three books worth of themes and plot lines in a neat little bow.  It's a fitting end to the series, but who am I kidding? I already know I'm going to read the fourth book sooner or later.  It's like crack.  (So maybe I was supposed to learn something about Jenny's little stroll down the dark side, after all.)

Review: Tommy Nightmare by JL Bryan

Description: While Fallen Oak recovers from the Jenny Pox, someone new is hunting Jenny.

Like Jenny, Ashleigh Gooding belonged to a pair of opposites with powers that mirror each other.

Now Jenny and Seth must face the opposite of love...

My Thoughts:  I've mentioned before how completely blown away I was by Jenny Pox, so I had high expectations heading in to Tommy Nightmare.  Happily, it measured up.  Tommy is genuinely terrifying in moments, moving in others, and juuuust complicated enough that I mourned every time he made an evil decision.  I'm not willing to count him out of the game just yet.

While Bryan has introduced a fun new villain in Tommy, that doesn't mean he's short-changing the girls.  Jenny is every bit as real and amazing as she was in the first book, and Bryan introduces a new girl in the form of an old love of Tommy's.  Furthermore--spoiler alert--we also see the return of Ashleigh Gooding, who is every bit as noxious and calculating in this book as she was when we first met her.  My favorite part of these books is how neatly Bryan writes the relationship between Ashleigh and Jenny--they never lose their petty, high-school nastiness for all that they're immortals fighting a war with incredible, potentially world-ending powers.  Jenny was punished in the first book for her refusal to attempt to understand her powers while Ashleigh was so busily strengthening hers, and she's still struggling with much the same problems in Tommy Nightmare.    Granted, her power is much more difficult to safely test than Ashleigh's, as people either die or are permanently disfigured by her touch rather than finding themselves love-stoned for a few hours.  Jenny's entire arc in this book is, once again, that of trying to stay one step ahead of her own abilities, this time with the added knowledge of just how destructive she can be.  This would be repetitive if not for the added drama of Jenny's secret being released into the world and the additional supervillains thrown into the fray.  Jenny has to grow up, whether she wants to or not, because she's going to be eaten alive if she doesn't.  And, by the end of the book, she seems to realize that she can't just stay in Fallen Oak and be a perpetual child forever, not when Ashleigh is once again on the move and is determined to destroy Jenny's life utterly before continuing with her plans for--I'm not kidding--world domination.  Unfortunately, she's now in the sway of someone even more dangerous than Ashleigh or Tommy, and she's not in a good emotional place.  Jenny Morton is poised to become Batman with mittens, and I love it.

Review: How To Be a Woman by Caitlan Moran

Description:Though they have the vote and the Pill and haven't been burned as witches since 1727, life isn't exactly a stroll down the catwalk for modern women. They are beset by uncertainties and questions: Why are they supposed to get Brazilians? Why do bras hurt? Why the incessant talk about babies? And do men secretly hate them?

Caitlin Moran interweaves provocative observations on women's lives with laugh-out-loud funny scenes from her own, from the riot of adolescence to her development as a writer, wife, and mother. With rapier wit, Moran slices right to the truth—whether it's about the workplace, strip clubs, love, fat, abortion, popular entertainment, or children—to jump-start a new conversation about feminism. With humor, insight, and verve, How To Be a Woman lays bare the reasons why female rights and empowerment are essential issues not only for women today but also for society itself.

My Thoughts: Oh, lord, where do I even start? I laughed until I wheezed well over a dozen times in the reading of this book; frankly, I owe Ms. Moran a fist-bump for bringing me closer to actual abs than I've managed in years. Half memoir and half feminist manifesto, she uses her own life to examine the state of modern feminism, how far it's come and how desperately much there still is to do. What I loved most about this book was how optimistic and ultimately joyous it is even as the author is working herself into a frothing rage over genuine injustices; she never loses her ultimate conviction that we're heading somewhere, that the wrongs of this world will get better through women being smart, creative, and more than a little crazy. I also found her attitude towards pornography to be incredibly refreshing (and fairly well encapsulating my attitude towards 50 Shades): what we need is more porn, not less, so that one half of the human species don't make up 99% of the ids presented.

(And Ms. Moran, if you're taking requests? Caz needs her own book, as well.)

Everyone has to make a 50 Shades post sooner or later, right?

Jennifer Armintrout takes apart 50 Shades of Gray.

Oh, lord, 50 Shades. I have so many mixed feelings about this book. (Not about the quality, however. Never about the quality.) On the one hand: ye gods, it is a terrible, awful book that puts forth the same gender stereotypes and romanticized abuse as Twilight, James just takes the erotic undertones of Meyer and makes them explicit. It makes me twitch.

On the other hand, just like so much of the criticism of Twilight centers around icky girls daring to like icky girl things, much of the criticism of 50 Shades centers around icky women daring to like icky women things. (Plus a general "ewww, kink" reaction, which--um, if your objection is that Ana and Christian have a fundamentally abusive relationship, that's 'cause they do, and would even if they were vanilla enough to make an ice cream cone blush. Bedroom dynamics and accessories have nothing to do with it.)

Armintrout's review of 50 Shades has me howling with laughter because she appears to have grown a penis solely to accommodate the hate-boner she has for this book, and yet she can't look away. And that's sort of Meyer and James in a nutshell. Armintrout does a wonderful job of going chapter-by-chapter and discussing why Christian is an abuser, though, and she does it without once heading into a kink-shaming place. It also doesn't hurt that she's screamingly funny.

(I have womanfully resisted doing any Twilight reviews on this blog even though I read all of the damned things, because it seemed like a bit of piling-on. But when The Host comes out in theaters, I will probably not be able to stop myself. That book was--it was like looking into Meyer's psyche on so many levels, and it was horrifying. I screamed at the book as if Meyer could hear me through it. More than once. In public places.)

As it turns out, Channing Tatum can act.

(So can, to a lesser extent, Alex Pettyfer, but I'll get to him in due time.)

Until about a year and a half ago, I didn't get the Channing Tatum thing. He hadn't been in any roles that required more than diamond-cutting abs, I didn't really dig the Step Up franchise as a whole, and he just had--and has, but with age he's gained depth--a face that...lent itself incredibly well to a dumb, blank expression.

And then I watched The Eagle, mostly for Jamie Bell, but along the way encountered a lot of press for the Taters in which he was a funny, even witty guy who displayed a remarkable self-awaresness about the LOL REDNECK bullshit that really boils down to classism. (I have strong feelings on this subject, but I'll save them for another post.) So, okay. Dude's a worthy specimen of the human species. Doesn't mean he can act. Until 21 Jump Street came along and proved that Monsieur Taters is actually pretty damned gifted as a comedic actor, even if with dramatic roles he's maybe not so talented. Or so I thought.

Y'all, based on the previews, you probably think that Magic Mike is a Big Dumb Fun Movie about men being candy, and to a certain extent that's correct. I thought I was going to to have to do CPR on one of my girlfriends several times; given that she has an extreme aversion to being touched, this likely would have ended with me being punched in the face. The unexpected burdens of friendship. Anyway, the men in this movie are staggeringly beautiful specimens of our species, each one lovingly and lingeringly objectified in ways normally reserved only for women. That alone would have earned this movie a thumbs-up from me. However, it's also solidly written and acted, with a particular gift for witty dialogue that still sounds like normal people just talking while we spy in.

And Taters. Mr. Tatum, known with varying amounts of affection about the internet as Charming Potato, delivered far and away the best performance of his career. Though that could sound as damning with faint praise, given that he turned in the first of many pretty-boy stinkers over five years ago, it's really not. Tatum carries the movie with a performance that is hilarious, subtle, and layered. I didn't even known he could do those things with his eyes. He makes the movie. I feel like over the top gushing will ruin the review or make it seem like I'm giving him nods out of pity or something, given how much he didn't work for me in the past, but I'm not kidding: Channing Tatum refutes every negative thing ever said about his skills as an actor in this movie. A late bloomer, maybe, but undeniably a talent.

Which is not to say that an honorable mention doesn't also go to Alex Pettyfer, himself not exactly known for nuance and brilliant portrayals. I'm not giving him quite as much credit for playing an asshole, since backstage scuttlebutt is that he's every bit as difficult to work with as Taters appears to be a kind and decent guy, but his character is so painfully nineteen that I had to peek at him through my fingers a few times. I hope I wasn't that much of a little shit at the same age, but I kind of think I was.

REVIEW: Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins

Description: Every year in Panem, the dystopic nation that exists where the U.S. used to be, the Capitol holds a televised tournament in which two teen "tributes" from each of the surrounding districts fight a gruesome battle to the death. In The Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, the tributes from impoverished District Twelve, thwarted the Gamemakers, forcing them to let both teens survive. In this rabidly anticipated sequel, Katniss, again the narrator, returns home to find herself more the center of attention than ever. The sinister President Snow surprises her with a visit, and Katniss’s fear when Snow meets with her alone is both palpable and justified. Catching Fire is divided into three parts: Katniss and Peeta’s mandatory Victory Tour through the districts, preparations for the 75th Annual Hunger Games, and a truncated version of the Games themselves. Slower paced than its predecessor, this sequel explores the nation of Panem: its power structure, rumors of a secret district, and a spreading rebellion, ignited by Katniss and Peeta’s subversive victory. Katniss also deepens as a character. Though initially bewildered by the attention paid to her, she comes almost to embrace her status as the rebels’ symbolic leader. Though more of the story takes place outside the arena than within, this sequel has enough action to please Hunger Games fans and leaves enough questions tantalizingly unanswered for readers to be desperate for the next installment.

My Thoughts: I was warned that the second installment of Collins's trilogy differed significantly in tone and, perhaps, quality from The Hunger Games. I'll agree to the first, but not to the second. (At least, not to the argument that the quality difference is a significant one.) The things I loved: that Katniss spends all of about thirty seconds dithering about whether or not she wants to lead a revolution before deciding to take every last one of those muthas down, one way or another. I will never apologize for how much characters unapologetically stepping up to right a wrong because it's the right thing to do makes me kick my feet with glee. I will also state that I didn't mind the increased focus on romance in this installment of the trilogy. Bleak and hopeless dystopia or not, Katniss is seventeen, and teenagers are hormone bombs. She's also for the first time in her life in a place where she can think about something other than her day-to-day survival. The girl's got a lot going on. And finally, Collins's world-building is every bit as original, strange, and gripping as it was in The Hunger Games.

Now, to pull the bandaid off: all right, the second book still isn't as good as the first. Part of it is a fine-line issue, as the descriptive writing simply doesn't pop as much (and Katniss says "Yeah" every other word now?), and part of it is Katniss. She's frequently petty in her anger in ways that she wasn't in the first book, and I didn't like her lack of self-esteem compared to Peeta in the slightest. The Hunger Games Katniss might have agreed to sacrifice herself for Peeta out of the pragmatic realization that he's a better orator than her, but she wouldn't have dithered about calling herself unworthy for being a survivor. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about Katniss being a pawn to the revolution rather than a participant, but I'll save my feelings and thoughts on that until reading the final book.

Oh, and Cinna is a freaking BAMF, but I hardly think that needs restating.

Hello!

I haven't been around much lately; I apologize, and I'm working on it. I've had a new day job for a month as of tomorrow, and it's been...well, it's been a steep learning curve, let's just say, and has put me in some unpleasant mental spaces. Since this is a professional rather than personal blog, I decided to err on the side of discretion.

But I'm back! Or I'm going to consistently pretend to be back! In news of my own books, Super has undergone a strange renaissance over the past month, which makes me laugh. (And wonder if KDP Select free days don't have some life in them yet.) I hope that you like it, new readers, and check out Fire With Fire when you're done. Leech, the third book in the series, is chilling with some beta readers as we speak. Meanwhile, I'm keeping up with my GYWO 2012 count by plowing away at the first draft of Bulletproof, aka the last book before the Thrilling Finale, aka Bonnie's book. Let me tell you, working through Bonnie's PTSD issues has done wonders for keeping my work-induced stress and occasional bouts of rage at a manageable level.

And in news of other people's books: I like to read, period, but unless a book really blows my doors off, I prefer to keep my review time here reserved for indie books. (You can always check out my general thoughts at my Goodreads page here. And as I've mentioned before: auto-add me as a friend solely for the purposes of promotion, get a permanent black mark. My biggest offender is now up to twenty-seven attempts.) Indie authors still have a stigma; I like to help. So give me your recs! I'll read virtually anything, but I prefer: urban fantasy, sci-fi, dystopia, and anything with women being awesome. It might also go without saying, considering my favoritest heroine in the Super series is bisexual and dating another woman, but queer-friendly recs are extra-especially welcome.

REVIEW: The Hunger Games

Yeah, yeah, insanely late to the party. However, this book is worth the hype.

Description: In the ruins of a place once known as North America lies the nation of Panem, a shining Capitol surrounded by twelve outlying districts. Long ago the districts waged war on the Capitol and were defeated. As part of the surrender terms, each district agreed to send one boy and one girl to appear in an annual televised event called, "The Hunger Games," a fight to the death on live TV. Sixteen-year-old Katniss Everdeen, who lives alone with her mother and younger sister, regards it as a death sentence when she is forced to represent her district in the Games. The terrain, rules, and level of audience participation may change but one thing is constant: kill or be killed.

My Thoughts: Yeah, consider me a fan without any reservations. In a world swimming with YA heroines who think of little else other than getting a boy to love them (and more often than not express that love in ways that deserve a VPO), Katniss is sharp, clever, and focused. In every chapter, it seemed, she found another way to please my competence kink, and I laughed out loud when she thought to herself, regarding Peeta, "Geez, I hope I'm not the one who has to kill him." (In a black humor kind of way, admittedly, but come on. It is not news at this point that I'm kinda creepy.) While your basic brooding, socially maladjusted hero would be simple (though admittedly remarkable for being applied to a female character), Katniss isn't cold, just a survivor. I loved how sweetly her relationship with Peeta played out, and how inevitable their rift. Yeah, Peeta is probably sweeter to be around, but Katniss keeps people alive. I will always root for the pragmatic, fast-thinking utilitarian over just about any other character archetype.

REVIEW: The Avengers

Fair warning, y'all, I'm going to play fast and loose with spoilers.

Looking back on my formative years, there were three major influences on me: Katherine Applegate, Xena, and Joss Whedon. (And when you think about it, that explains so much. It's miracle that I turned out as borderline-normal as I did.) So when I learned that Joss Whedon was going to be both writing and directing the Avengers movie, which I already had high hopes for, I...might have squeaked and flailed my arms about like a Jibbles the Gerbil/Muppet hybrid. But, you know, in a dignified way.

It was even better than I had hoped it would be.

Marvel's been knocking it out of the park with its superhero movies for a long time now, for reasons that I've listed in this blog before: they all feel as though they belong to a coherent world, they don't forget to be fun, and they actually treat the women in their audience and their casts as people. (Looking at you on those last two, Mr. Nolan.) Joss Whedon was the perfect person to take on this movie. He toned down his particular dialogue quirks enough so that there were tons of punny one-liners, but no one beat you over the head with their quippiness. He got to the emotional meat of these screwed-up people finding common ground and becoming more than the sum of their parts, and he whupped ass with Natasha Romanoff (and pulled ScarJo's best performance yet out of her). Seriously, Marvel, get on the Black Widow movie, already, these flicks have been a boys' club long enough. He does give in to the Joss Whedon School of Killing Everyone You Love, but I honestly think it was earned. (And it's comics, okay. Do you remember the Bucky Rule? Yeah, well, he has his own comics line and Sebastian Stan is contracted for six movies. IJS.)

Apart from Joss's writing, the acting in this movie is seriously top-notch. I raised my eyebrows when I heard that Mark Ruffalo was going to be playing Bruce Banner (you would think I would know better by now, given Chris Evans as Captain America), but he's the first actor to get Banner right. Much has also been made of Tom Hiddleston's turn as Loki, and he deserves every second of it. Between his acting and Joss's writing, a bridge is drawn between the flailing, damaged Loki of Thor and the homicidal lunatic of Avengers. I would commit minor crimes to find out what really went down between Loki and Thanos in deep space, and I cannot wait for the potential villain(s) of Thor 2.

Seriously. Go see this movie. If you like comics, heroes, or shit going BOOM, you are in for a treat.